Banned from zoo.
Again?
My balls are so social today.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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