he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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