Where is the hickey?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
