So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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