Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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