I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
