I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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