I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We don't watch enough power rangers
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
