theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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