You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂