how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
