really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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