he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
