nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
