In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
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