I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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