At least make sure they are 18
Why
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
