Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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