I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize