I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
