As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
