Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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