Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
