im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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