Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
