is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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