"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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