but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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