The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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