what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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