What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
