cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
How naked do you want me to be?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
