Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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