What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
