I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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