im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
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