You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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