He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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