Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
