i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
