It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
are you so shy because you have an std?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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