idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
