I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize
