Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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