She's JV to your varsity
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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