You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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