You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize