Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Still dying that you shit outside
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...