im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back