So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
