So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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