She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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