i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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