Someone shit on the floor
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
