Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
