conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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