This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
