you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
