Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
