i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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