Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
