Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
