She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
