He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
